Fazfuck
by GoldenFredbear
Summary: Freddy and co. want to Fuck with the guard's head. Watch as he uses his skills of being total bad-ass to mess with the guard. Or will someone get to him first...
1. Gender List

(FNaF1, Withered, Spring)Bonnie=Male (Toy, Shadow)Bonnie=Female (FNaF1, Gold, Shadow, Chrome, Phantom, Withered,Toy)Freddy=Male (FNaF1, Withered, Toy, Phantom)Chica=Female (FNaF1, Withered, Phantom)Foxy=Male (FNaF2, Phantom)Mangle=Female (FNaF2, Shadow)Balloon Boy=Male (FNaF2)Balloon Girl=Female (FNaF2, Phantom)Marionette=Female 


	2. CH1: Ready for Freddy

Freddy opened his eyes. He looked around at the stage to find that Bonnie and Chica where gone. Freddy then stared into the nearest camera. When the gaurd checked that cam, Freddy said "Are YOU ready for Freddy?" He stepped off the stage and went down the hall, to attack the gaurd. When he was caught at the door, freddy stopped. He eventually said "I want you inside of me!" The new gaurd punched Freddy out and shut the door. "You fucking asshole!" Freddy said. He nodiced that his servos where locking up, so he made his way to parts and service to oil them.

When he got there, Bonnie was in there. "Freddy my fucking head is gone!" Bonnie said, as Freddy nodiced the lack of a face. "Just use a fucking spare, you asshole!" Freddy said in retaliation. "It's not hard!" After a long time of this, Freddy finally said "I fucking hate you, Bonnie. If I get you your head back, will you come with me on the quest to kill the fucking gaurd?" Bonnie, with no delay, said "Fine!" On the way out, Freddy saw a party hat. But it looked like it was...ALIVE!

It floated to Freddy. "Oh shit." he said as the hat attacked... 


	3. CH2: Enragement Child

As the hat retreated, Freddy Remembered that his mic was metal. He smashed the hat, and earning a head waver. Freddy saw 3 more hats next to Bonnie. After demolishing the hats, Balloon boy came in. "Hello Friend! Want to buy some shit?" Freddy, hating this kid, retalliated with "Inhale my dong enragement child!" Freddy gave Balloon boy (BB) the head vouger, and got Bonnies face. "Take this face an come help me you fat fuck."

Bonnie needed some more upgrades, so freddy took him to BB who somehow had better Guitars and Microphones. After a small upgrade, they ran out of tokens. So Bonnie says "Mabey the haunted party hats have tokens?" After killing 1987 party hats, (get it?!) they had tons of tokens. After some more upgrades, they where set. When they attempted the other door, they again got punched and a door to the face. "FUCK YOU!" Bonnie and Freddy said at the same time.

Then they herd something: Dududum dum... 


	4. CH3: The Cove

The sound got closer when in pirate's cove, so Freddy and Bonnie went in to find Foxy. They found him behind the curtains, when he peeked out. He said "Cant a pirate masturbate in his fucking cove? Go away Fazfuck! Go away PurpleNurple!" Freddy started to walk away, but bonnie (who yelled "Really! Fight me you little bitch!") had to be forced out. After that, bonnie convinced freddy to find a lighter to burn the cove.

So they looked around for any flamable item. They saw the gaurd smoking, and he had dropped his lighter in the hall. "Yes!" Bonnie said as he picked it up to use on that "Asswipe Foxy." On the way, they heard a faint "hahaha" in the distance. When Freddy (seeing that Bonnie would burn Foxy) went to grab the lighter, it was nowhere to be seen.  
"Wait! Where in the living hell is that lighter!?" Bonnie and Freddy turned around to see that a party hat came.

The party hat drew a gun and shot there sorry little asses (L0L JK)

Authors Note:

APRIL FOOLS! Credit to Shark lord ( u/6528277/Shark-Lord ) for the party hat gun. I just wanted to include that somewhere for my first comment. (Shadow freddy commented, but we talked and had him post it.)

I am honestly surprised at how fast my veiws are going up. 33 in one day. I got 1 (veiw) on my first day recording youtube! As I see you guys (and girls) are enjoying this, I will keep posting.

Now, that being said, there may be a few filler chapters coming. Don't worry though, as I will get back to the m,ain story soon. Oh, and BTW, spoiler alert: Foxy is last to be gained.

Thank you and see you next time I decide to put an authors note! 


	5. CH4: Engage the Camera MOFO

After Fighting the hat, Freddy nodice that when the the kitchen cam was on, (see Chica's sidequest, coming as a side story after the fanfic is done) the place had more power. "But now that it is out, less power is in the pizzaria. To open the doors, we must deactivate all of the cameras." That made sense to Bonnie. Fourtunetly, the cameras had defense levels that say how strong they are.

"Engage the camera mofo!" Freddy said as he slapped the cam with his mic. When the cam fell, it dropped 1/3 keys needed to get into the kitchen. "Yes." Bonnie says as he picks up the key. Freddy, nodicing a pattern, said "Is that your new catchphrase?" "No, this is: OH MEH GAWD JUSTIN BIEBER!" Bonnie said to cover the fact that he says 'Yes' too often. But Freddy hates JB, so he took Bonnie to the parts/service room to riwire him.

CONTEST! Should Freddy rewire bonnie to be:

a) Bumpercar Bonnie b) Insane Murder Bonnie c) Fail at the rewiring, destroying bonnie d) No rewire. 


	6. CH5: BumperCars

"OK!" Freddy said as he shut Bonnie down. "Someone who loves fun, but not too much. And his obbsesion could be helpful." As he flickered through the settings he got things like (in a deep, murderous voice)"Step near me and you DIE!" and (In a computerized voice)"ERROR! SYSTEMS ARE FAILING. ERROR CODE 1335990." Until Freddy found one he liked.

"WOO! BumperCars!" Bonnie yelled as he was turned back on. Bonnie ran out of the room, and came back riding a bumper car. As he zoomed around, he BUMPED a table, revealing a kitchen key. "Oh fuck yeah!" Freddy said, as he picked it up. But cold this bonnie be serieous if needed? Freddy called "ENGAGE THE CAMERAS MOTHERFUCKAH!" and Bonnie stopped his bumper car and ran over to destroy a cardboard camera Freddy made. "Good. Now lets go get Chica!" Freddy said. Bonnie offered Freddy a bumper car, but Freddy said he would rather walk.

When they got to the door, they heard a strange "BONUS DUCKS" and what sounded like millions of ducks quacking...

_  
AUTHORS NOTE:

Sorry for the short chapter and the long wait, but I am getting tired of Fazfuck and need a break. I think that until I get back in the habit of writing these, I will start a mini-series of all of the sidequests. 


	7. CH6: Devour my hot bird ass

"Seriously Chica? SERIOUSLY!" Freddy yelled, as Bonnie rode into the kitchen. "Devouer my hot bird ass, Fazfuck!" Chica replied. "ENGAGE THE DUCKS MOFO" All 3 said at the same time. As Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie (Who's new attack was ramming the opponent with his BumperCar) tried to kill the clones, but every time they hit one, 5 more came. Then, Freddy remembered the one thing that distracted Chica: pizza. With about 20 pizza slices at hand, Freddy and co led the clones outside, as to be a huge doosh to the rest of the world.

"Chica, where did you hide when they came?" Freddy asked. "Nobody could last more than 5 min in that storm." Chica replied "I hid in the oven. Do not say that its innapropriate, that was my point!" Freddy and co were silent until Chica dropped something. "Wait... We lost that lighter!" Freddy yelled. "Give it back!" Chica, not liking Freddy's tone, said harshly "Devour my hot bird ass, Fazf-" "NOT AGAIN!" Freddy yelled, interupting Chica. "Now, lets go get Foxy!" 


	8. CH7: Foxy

Freddy turned the lighter on and started burning pirates cove. Bonnie, remembering the conflict they had earlier in the night, ran, grabbed the lighter, and set metric crap tons of fires to pirates cove. "Why did ye do that!?" foxy yelled."I was fucki-i mean masturbating in there!" Freddy, who thought long and hard about what foxy just studdered about said "Fuck you yiffy. lets go fuck the guards shit up!"

but as they walked down to the office, the door was shut. "What the fuck!" everyone exclaimed at once. then they saw the final camera. when they saw the difficulty tab, they almost shit their non-existing pants. the level was... OVER 9000! (LAME JOKES FTW)

*Insert epic battle chapter here, im too lazy to write one*

It was time. the doors have been opened, and all that was left was to go kill the nightguard and stuff his body into freddys piss-colored counterpart. (golden freddy)

to be continued... IN CHAPTER 8! 


	9. CH8: The battle Final end

Freddy and co stepped into the office to see, not the guard, but golden freddy, smoking weed and eating DEWRITOS (Mountain dew covered Doritos)! golden shouted really fast "YouShitfuckersYouDidntInviteMeToYourNightOfDebaucheryImGoingToYiffYpurDick" freddy, being shocked, said "oh shit! my piss-colored counterpart comes!" and the final battle started.

All four ready, they head-on charged at golden (exept for bonnie who rode a bumpercar into battle), which failed horribly. Foxy got his hook cut off, Chica, lets just say got her ass devoured harder than she wanted, Bonnie got his bumpercar smashed, and freddys hat was smashed to bits. All seemed hopeless.

Freddy remembered an old ritual that could save them in dire situations. he quickly made the party form a circle and put their hands in. then the ultimate attack was formed. in an explosion of light, golden freddy died.

freddy and co. had won...

You got the "NO MORE" ending. read the other ending to see what REALLY happens... 


	10. CH8: The battle Real end

Freddy and co stepped into the office to see, not the guard, but golden freddy, smoking weed and eating DEWRITOS (Mountain dew covered Doritos)! golden shouted really fast "YouShitfuckersYouDidntInviteMeToYourNightOfDebaucheryImGoingToYiffYpurDick" freddy, being shocked, said "oh shit! my piss-colored counterpart comes!" and the final battle started.

All four ready, they head-on charged at golden (exept for bonnie who rode a bumpercar into battle), which failed horribly. Foxy got his hook cut off, Chica, lets just say got her ass devoured harder than she wanted, Bonnie got his bumpercar smashed, and freddys hat was smashed to bits. All seemed hopeless.

Freddy remembered an old ritual that could save them in dire situations. he quickly made the party form a circle and put their hands in. but the ultimate attack failed. and the attack drained all of their energy. golden freddy, with more seperation, said "ITS TIME TO YIFF SOME DICKS!"

freddy and co... fucked up.

then freddy's voice could be heard in the hallway. "That was fucking bullshit! Bonnie, chica, and yiffy are dead..."

You got the "Not another one!" ending. yes, there WILL be a sequel. Below, i will put "credits" and other shit:

Writer: ME Game based off of: Five nights at Fuckboys FNaFB based off of: Five Nights at Freddys Proofread by: NOBODY! YOLO!

The sequel will be based on the "Save import scinario" 


End file.
